been listening to Tom Petty’s ‘Wildflowers’ album a lot lately. may or may not have lost the wedding band yesterday. oh well. shrug. got a couple new rings that are nicer anyway:

spending too much time at Jekyll’s lately. while i love that joint, it is breeding ground for all sorts of drama. on a similar note, i purged a bunch of ‘friends’ from facebook today & labeled a few contacts in my phone as “do not answer.” (enough contacts to confuse me, so that if i get a text/call from one of them, i’ll have no idea who it is. genius.) i’ve decided, while i love getting to know people & love sustaining relationships with many folks from my past, i’ve got to let it all go & focus on me for a while. i pour too much energy into other people and for now i wanna harvest that energy & pour it into my own development and art. i am thinking about taking a hiatus from my ‘commercial’ work & strictly making art for art’s sake.

i miss the way life used to be, i miss searching for apartments in berkeley/oakland, i miss sophie bear and so many other things. but the past doesn’t exist anymore; all that exists is now.

time to move on,

time to get going.

what lies ahead,

i have no way of knowing…

in dersperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need from them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we create in the first place.

Elizabeth Gilbert

I think, as artists, there are specific points in our lives by which we can measure renaissance, growth, epiphany. “Lightbulb” moments, or, in retrospect, a trail of crumbs that has lead us to the ground upon which we stand today. I’m young so mine are small, but meaningful all the same.

When I was in kindergarten, I had to make a snowman out of torn pieces of paper. I couldn’t tear a circle, only squares. I vowed to get better…

A couple years later, I made this:

And by 5th grade, I was a staple in the school and town student art shows.

When I was 18, I drew these:

And a year later, someone stole the one on the right off the wall in my home (luckily it was recovered – thanks, Tiff).

I had more art stolen off The Fire’s restroom walls sometime between 2005-2008.

People paid for my art too, starting in 2005.

I was a featured artist at one of the local Starbucks in 2006 and (yet AGAIN!) had piece stolen right off the wall.

I made a serious tracking mistake when I got “this is war” tattooed on my arm. I vowed to study type & never make an error like that again.

A couple years later, requests for tattoo designs were coming in tenfold.

My photographs have been transfered to canvas and hang in others’ homes.

My ad design was seen in Chicago Social Brides magazine.

A poster I designed was part of a group exhibit in Chicago.

A self portrait I shot on B&W film was part of a group exhibit in Chicago.

I got hired at the Art & Design Portfolio center at Columbia.

Nickelodeon and Disney had real live copies of my design work sitting on their television show developers’ desks.

The government recognized me as a self-employed graphic designer and photographer.

And in between all those things, I was so inspired by Franz Kline, Sabrina Ward Harrison, Dada, the Situationist International, The Weathermen, Alphonse Mucha, Paul Rand, Emigre as a whole, and a few real good professors and colleagues. ┬áThe little things are most important to me, the looking back & the recognition of my creative self. Pinpointing my achievements and realizing what’s meaningful. I’m more proud that my work’s been stolen than sitting on the desks of enormous corporations. I’m more proud that my work’s permanently on people’s bodies than on the walls of galleries. I like the ceramic birdhouse that I made in 3rd grade much better than I like the work I do for my corporate clients. I like the impromptu hipstamatic photos I shoot on my iPhone better than the planned portrait sessions I’ve been paid for. But it’s all good, it’s all my life and I’m happy…

“if it does not feed the fire of your creativity, then leave it.

if people and things do not inspire your heart to dream, then leave them.”

iPhone case? this is mine. get yours at Uncommon.

B-side jewelry takes parts from guns & “recasts them into symbols of non-violence.” (from ecouterre) I don’t really see the non-violence part but I love this necklace! Proceeds from sales of this line go to the NYC Gun Buy Back Program, which basically rewards people for turning in firearms in NYC. Since 2008, some 5,700 guns have been turned in off the streets of the city. Having lived in a city where not a day goes by without someone killed by gunfire, that’s music to my ears…