And so begins day 1 as an unemployed 24 year old living in the urban mess of the Midwest’s greatest and most expensive city. Never letting my guard down, I was fairly prepared: never trusting anyone, I left the building liberated.
Not that I mean it was fair.
Time, I hope, will be spent focusing on school and perhaps traveling, hopefully collecting unemployment and freelancing as much as I can find. I plan to focus on the little things… I found myself doing so without effort yesterday afternoon. Tom picked me up from class, I dropped off the key. Signorelli and I barely exchanged a word, and then it was home for an afternoon of… well, whatever I wanted, I suppose. I read Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men, an easy read that took care of a couple of hours. I smoked a cigarette and watched the ash stack up quickly as a result of the afternoon breeze. It was cold and cloudy. Blue fell asleep on my lap, clutching my hand with his paws and burrowing his head into the comforter. I went grocery shopping and threw together an excellent dinner of vegetarian nachos while Tom concocted the margaritas (on the rocks). I watched The Hoax, which starred Richard Gere (dad?) and was based on a true story about a writer who went to great lengths to fabricate the autobiography of Howard Hughes. I then Wikipedia’d Howard Hughes and read about his eccentricities, and then fell asleep after a bowl of Thin Mint ice cream.
I hope for more time with my friends and family. I hope to go to Norway this summer. I want to reconnect and remember who I am before American Apparel took over my life. I can’t wait to thrift for clothes again — maybe t-shirts with prints on them, even. And big scarves and the perfect pair of jeans so I can put something on other than leggings.
2 1/2 years, how to erase all the acquired habits? I’ve joined the rankings of those like Tom, Hannah, Elizabeth Rose, Reana, Elana, and my dear tiny Jessica — all happier and relieved. The stress isn’t mine anymore, the devoted can have it all.
Stef & Alan come to visit on Thursday — I can’t wait, it’s been so long since I’ve seen them! Then Friday I head up to Appleton for the weekend, to breathe something other than the city air and to focus on something other than heavy life.
Tomorrow evening begins Passover.