oh man, today is one of those busted up, all wrong, upside down days. I began to type more, but it’s lame to detail how insecure I feel today.
after non-stop 15 hours, I unwound with Thursday’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy [a serious guilty pleasure, it’s the one time I allow myself to freely cry at a television show] & normally wouldn’t quote it but it hit home to a certain extent;
It doesn’t matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives…. Maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up.
I wish I was a happier, more charismatic person by nature. But I’m not. I love life and the people who’ve touched me deeply. I get stuck inside my head & have a hard time getting out. Today, my professor told me to get excited about my work; that it’s too conservative. He said, “I don’t think you’re a conservative person, why do your ads look like this?” & I took it very personally. I’m not very inspired by his class or his projects… swiss army knives, turbo chef, arizona tea, I guess all this superficial product advertising is not really my bag and apparently it shows. It’s a fairly conventional study, & I’m not that conventional. I’m bored, I’m tired, I’m stuck… I need something exciting to happen, quick.
come, save me from this fire.